Something about me — Personality

I’m not really ambitious. I do like money, power and fame; however, without them I still survive. For now as a college student. i just tried hard to achieving what im intense to willing. find a job..even just a part time job and stop to asking money again from my parents. still I feel I’m pretty satisfied with my material life and surviving. yet, im still confuse for what degree should i take. but it’s under the ’suggestion’ of my advisor and the requirement for this master really drives me buts), people around me start to expect me to do something, such as making money, academic achievement, etc., especially my family. That kinda makes sense since a lot of resources has been invested on me but should this be the goal of my this life? hmmm…. I don’t know. All I do till now is not to fail my family and the sociaty`s expectation and I guess I do a ok job since I still stay on route they plan for me. I’m a lazy person so I usualy just follow the rule. Will I change eventually? not sure yet but we will see.

In this world, I believe there is an end to everything. People will die; time will pass; feelings, such as happiness, sadness or even love, will fade away eventually. Sometimes I just wonder why I need to spend time and efforts pursuing those non-lasting stuff.

When I was a child I was always looking forwards to Chinese New year. As I aged, however, I became more and more afraid: I felt so excited about its appraoching but so sad when it was gone. I had to experience this emotional fall years after years. Therefore, I just told myself, if I tried not to feel that happy in the begining, perhaps I wouldn’t feel that sad in the end. It did work out. In addition, I asked myself to see through things and prepare for what was meant to happen. So, almost a year or half before the graduation ceremony in the high school, I’ve started to adjust myself for bidding farewell to my classmates. When that day really came, many of my classmates felt so sad that they couldn’t stop cring but I just sat there watching. I still keep this habit and try to stay calm anytime so some of my close friends say that I am emotionless; they never see me cry or the emotional breakdown even something miserable occured to me, such as breaking up with my ex.